Barstool Chicago Cookies Draft Grades

Round 1 Pick 1: Peanut Butter Blossom, Clem

Elite pick from Clem. This is my favorite cookie for many reasons. We make it every Christmas and I cannot wait to have it every year. My grandmother made these for my family when I was young and we will continue to make them for generations. Excellent pick. 

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 2: Chocolate Chip, Eddie

I mean this is your nice blue-chip prospect. It is probably the default number one and for good reason. It is such a great cookie and it plays all year round.

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 3: Macadamia Nut, Dave

What kind of pick is this? I mean macadamia nut cookies are fine but they are certainly not the third-best cookie in the world. Very weird pick from Dave. 

Grade: C

Round 1 Pick 4: Snickerdoodle, Trent

This is an elite pick. Snickerdoodles are amazing cookies. I would have considered taking this first overall. 

Grade: A

Round 1 Pick 5: Oatmeal Raisin, Chief

Well, this makes a lot of sense. I think we all could have guessed Chief would take the oatmeal raisin. Either way, it is a solid pick but for optics, I think this would have been better in the second round. There is just an unfair stigma that surrounds the cookie. 

Grade: B

Round 2 Pick 1: Double Stuff Oreo, Chief

Yeah, this is a pretty solid pick. Personally, I think Oreos are a bit overrated, but double stuff is the best version and obviously, everyone really likes them. 

Grade: A-

Round 2 Pick 2: Sugar Cookie, Trent

I feel like sugar cookies have a very low ceiling compared to most other cookies. To me, the best sugar cookie is only like a 7/10 chocolate chip cookie. They are just a good dessert that can never be great. 

Grade: B

Round 2 Pick 3: M&M, Dave

I love M&M cookies. When done correctly, they are one of the best cookies in the game. The only negative I see from them is that when you take too long to eat one, you get dye on your hands which is very annoying.

Grade: A-

Round 2 Pick 4: Nutter Butter, Eddie

I'm a peanut butter guy, but I have always thought Nutter Butters suck. They just are not sweet whatsoever and there is almost too much peanut butter. Not the best pick and certainly an overdraft in the second round.

Grade: C+

Round 2 Pick 5: Samoas, Clem

Clem! You can't take the second-best Girl Scout cookie with the first one still on the board! While Samoas are good, everyone will be thinking "Why didn't this guy take thin mints?" Just a rookie mistake from the elite drafter. Samoas are still good though so I can't hate them too much.

Grade: B+

Round 3 Pick 1: Black and White, Clem 

These are pretty good. I like their spot in the third round as they are a pretty good cookie but not elite. I think this was a good place to take them to maximize value. 

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 2: Tate's Chocolate Chip, Eddie

I think these are the best store-bought cookies. They are the perfect size and crunch. They go great as a snack with milk at night, I just love them. I'm not sure a bad of these has ever lasted a week in my house.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 3: Oreo, Dave

Regular Oreos are just ok to me. They are good when you are a kid, but as you grow up they are just so meh. I still like one from time to time, but not nearly as much as I used to. 

Grade: B

Round 3 Pick 4: Gingerbread, Trent

I think that this is a very underrated cookie. They aren't very common, which is why I don't think it will be very well received. But if you get a good gingerbread cookie, it is extremely good. But I do not think enough people eat them to be drafted in the third round. 

Grade: B-

Round 3 Pick 5: Oatmeal Chocolate Chip, Chief

Double oatmeal? Not the best strategy in my opinion. While I do think that oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are very good, they are unfortunately just a slightly worse version of the regular version. 

Grade: B

Round 4 Pick 1: Keebler Fudge Stripes, Chief

This is a very good pick and probably my second favorite store-bought cookie. It is the perfect ratio of chocolate to cookie. It is a very underrated cookie and a great pickup in the fourth round. 

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 2: Peanut Butter, Trent

This was a great pick in the fourth round. Peanut butter cookies are a superior version of sugar cookies. They are very good and I always thought the pattern on them was unique and made them better. The only problem is they are not amazing with milk, which does suck for a cookie. 

Grade: A-

Round 4 Pick 3: Chips Ahoy, Dave

Regular Chips Ahoy are the most mid cookie you can have. They are hard as rock and crumble when you put them in milk. On top of that, their flavor is just ok. So overrated.

Grade: C

Round 4 Pick 4: Thin Mints, Eddie

Elite pick in the fourth round. I would not have been surprised to see this go in the first. It is an elite cookie and I could eat them by the box. Also, they are great in the fridge, if you haven't tried it what are you waiting for?

Grade: A+

Round 4 Pick 5: Italian Rainbow, Clem

These pieces of garbage stink and the Italians have fooled you into thinking they are good. That is my only commentary on the matter.

Grade: D

Round 5 Pick 1: Mrs. Field's Chocolate Chip, Clem

Good pick. It is nice when you are roaming around a mall and have a craving for something sweet. It is also nice to get them served warm, something you often do not have the luxury of when eating a cookie. 

Grade: A-

Round 5 Pick 2: Italian Almond Cookie, Eddie

These cookies are the bee's knees. I don't know why I said that but it feels like the best way to describe them. They are so sweet and the almond adds a nice texture. Great pick from Eddie.

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 3: Double Chocolate Chunk, Dave

I was never the biggest fan of double chocolate cookies because I feel like I can only have one or two before the chocolate becomes too overwhelming. But I think the cookies are solid overall. 

Grade: B

Round 5 Pick 4: Biscoff, Trent

Great pick. This is a strong indicator of adulthood. If you enjoy a biscoff cookie, you're legally an adult. I don't make the rules I just enforce them. Either way, the cookies taste nice and you can eat a million of them. 

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 5: Pumpkin, Chief

Pumpkin cookies? Who the hell eats those? I have quite literally never seen one. Bad pick. 

Grade: D

This really is a tough draft to grade. There are many good boards, but I think Eddie's or Trent's is probably the best. But Chocolate chip probably wins it in the end. 

Predicted Winner: Eddie