Barstool Chicago Fictional Athletes Draft Grades

Round 1 Pick 1: Rocky Balboa, Brandon    

Pretty easy first-overall pick. Rocky is probably the most famous fictional athlete and is definitely worthy of being drafted this high. He is a great underdog story. However, I think it is incredibly sad that Philidelphia has a stature of a fake boxer up in their city. 

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 2: Benny Rodriguez, Eddie

If Rocky wasn't first overall, I could see picking The Jet first overall. He was an elite baseball player and was also an incredible friend. Also, he could outrun a dog throughout an entire town, that is impressive as hell. 

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 3: Scott Howard, Titus

I don't get why they didn't like the pick. Scott Howard was a hooper. Also he was a werewolf, which is pretty cool. Overall a strong selection, but maybe a bit overdrafted. 

Grade: B+

Round 1 Pick 4: Kenny Powers, Dave

I think Powers is a solid pick, but is overdrafted. He doesn't have quite the name recognition to be a first-round pick, probably a third-rounder. However, he is absolutely hilarious. 

Grade: C+

Round 1 Pick 5: Happy Gilmore, Chief

Very good pick. Happy Gilmore is a fantastic movie and also a pretty good golfer. I think this is a pick everyone will think is solid and will look good on the graphic.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 1: Henry Rowengartner, Chief

If Rowengartner played for a different team, say the Mariners or the Braves, he would not have been picked this high. It is just because he played for the Cubs. Rookie of the Year is a fine movie, but Henry Rowengartner is not the sixth-best athlete. 

Grade: B

Round 2 Pick 2: Rick Vaughn, Dave

Amazing pick. His entrance was elite and he was a solid closer too. He did have some command issues, but hey he got it worked out. Also the movie is just hilarious which will help him get a few more votes on the graphic. 

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 3: Michael Jordan, Titus

Good pick from Titus. Jordan was solid in space jam, honestly, he seems like he could probably have a solid career in the NBA. 

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 4: Bobby Boucher, Eddie

I mean without Bubby the Mud Dogs would have no chance to win the Bourbon Bowl. The Waterboy is a quality movie and Boucher was a hell of a football player. However, I do think this was taken bit too early. 

Grade: B+

Round 2 Pick 5: Daniel Larusso, Brandon

This pick is fine, I think Brandon is playing more on nostalgia than anything. Also, does anybody remember when Jaden Smith made a remake of Karate Kid? That was weird. Anyways, Larusso is a solid athlete and everyone likes the karate kid,.

Grade: B

Round 3 Pick 1: Crash Davis, Brandon

This pick is fine. Bull Durham isn't really the most popular movie overall, so it probably won't help Brandon too much on the graphic. However, it is not an outwardly bad pick. 

Grade: B-

Round 3 Pick 2: Pablo Sanchez, Eddie

Strong pick from Eddie. Anyone that played Backyard Baseball knows that Pablo Sanchez was a legend. I also think that it is good to get someone that is not a movie/TV character to diversify the board. 

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 3: Lightning McQueen, Titus

I thought this was a tremendous pick. I don't know if the people voting is the right demographic for it to be successful, but maybe they will get the bit.

Grade: B

Round 3 Pick 4: Al Bundy, Dave 

How could anyone forget when Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in the city championship? Great athlete in his day. However I don't think Married With Children gets the love that it once did, so I don't know how the pick will end up doing. 

Grade: B

Round 3 Pick 5: Forrest Gump, Chief

This is something I would have never thought about, but man Forrest Gump is an elite pick. He won a natty at Bama and he became a world ping pong championship. On top of that he ran across America. Tremendous athlete from start to finish. 

Grade: A+

Round 4 Pick 1: Big Ern McCracken, Chief

Gonna be totally up front here, I have never even heard of this character. I've never seen Kingpin, but I have heard of the movie. However it is Bill Murray, so it will definitely be an alright pick. 

Grade: B

Round 4 Pick 2: Roy Hobbs, Dave

So, this isn't my favorite pick to be honest. I like The Natural, but most of the power of Roy was in the bat. He wasn't an elite athlete, he just had a magic bat. However the lights breaking at the end of the movie is pretty cool, so I'll bump the pick up just a bit. 

Grade: B

Round 4 Pick 3: Harry Potter, Titus

I love this pick, I know they didn't love it but man I think it is hilarious. He was incredible at his sport and he has magic. Just an incredible pick in my opinion. 

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 4: Billy Bob, Eddie

Billy Bob is a pretty solid pick. He was a good lineman and most people like the movie. It fits well in the fourth round. 

Grade: B+

Round 4 Pick 5: Jesus Shuttlesworth, Brandon

Jesus Shuttlesworth is a fine pick. He probably wouldn't have been on my list, but I guess I could see why he was drafted.

Grade: B

Round 5 Pick 1: Ricky Bobby, Brandon

All I'm saying is, how good of an athlete would Ricky Bobby be without Cal Naughton Jr.? It's just a question so don't get mad, but it is something that needs to be asked. However I like the pick. Everybody likes Talladega Nights and it is solid in the fifth round. 

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 2: Air Bud, Eddie

Tremendous pick from Eddie. Air Bud was an elite athlete and I think will definitely help him get some votes for being funny. Good fifth-round pick. 

Grade: A+

Round 5 Pick 3: Dalton, Titus

Alright so I am all for the funny picks with Lightning McQueen and Harry Potter, but we can't just pick athletic dudes. That means we can take Maverick because he played Volleyball in Top Gun? IDK, not amazing. 

Grade: D

Round 5 Pick 4: Lola Bunny, Dave

Bonk. I mean she was a decent basketball player to be honest. Also, a lot of people share Dave's thoughts about Lola Bunny, so he is getting votes for this. 

Grade: B+

Round 5 Pick 5: Jimmy Chitwood, Chief

Great Mr. Irrelevant. Jimmy is a great basketball player from a great movie. Also, shame on Mark Titus for not picking him, I think he gets his Indiana card revoked. 

Grade: A

I think it is despicable that Titus won't be on the poll. I think his draft is best. Anyways, I think the person with the second best draft is Chief. He has a pretty solid board.

Predicted Winner: Chief