Barstool Chicago Mall Draft Grades

The Chicago crew is back and this time they are drafting all things mall-related. I thought this was actually a pretty interesting topic. They are joined by Ria, who was surrounded by controversy last time she was on the draft because she juiced the polls. 

Round 1 Pick 1: Auntie Anne's, Ria

Phenomenal pick. I feel like I would never eat a soft pretzel outside of a mall. Auntie Anne is the best of the food court restaurants, mostly because they are almost exclusive to malls. Good pick from Ria and I think it is a worthy first overall selection. 

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 2: Spencer's, Eddie

Spencer's sucks. I never understood the hype. It's just a bad store. Maybe it's a generational difference, but nobody I know likes Spencer's at all. I think it's a bad pick, but I understand it will play well with their audience. I just can't rank it well.

Grade: B

Round 1 Pick 3: Hot Topic, Carl

I like this pick much more than the Spencer's pick. I would actually be willing to go to Hot Topic. I definitely consider this to be a mall store and it being in the first round makes sense. Strong start for Carl on today's draft.

Grade: A

Round 1 Pick 4: Sharper Image, Chief

Well, that was a pick. I mean it certainly wasn't a terrible pick, but it isn't a first-round pick. Maybe a third-round pick. Not good from Chief.

Grade: C

Round 1 Pick 5: Abercrombie, Dave

I feel like Abercrombie is pretty culturally irrelevant at this point in time. Like it's a good pick, definitely associated with malls. So I like the pick, but not as a first rounder.

Grade: B+

Round 2 Pick 1: FYE, Dave

Tremendous pick from Dave. My brother and I always went here to kill time when we were at the mall. We would always just look around at the DVDs and other trinkets. Quality pick from Dave here.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 2: Mrs. Field's Cookies, Chief

It's an ok pick. It's not great. If I was going with a dessert, I would probably pick Cinnabon or the Great American Cookie before I go Mrs. Field's. It's fine but probably should've gone later.

Grade: B+

Round 2 Pick 3: American Eagle, Carl

I think this is a great pick. American Eagle is probably the best mall close store, in my opinion. I think it's still relevant today, unlike other stores, such as Hollister and Abercrombie. Overall a really strong pick from Carl.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 4: Mall Air Conditioning, Eddie

Opening the doors to a freezing cold mall after walking through the humid parking lot in the middle of July is an elite feeling. It makes your experience so much better and it's a good way to kill some time in the summer without getting too hot. Good pick from Eddie.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 5: Build-A-Bear, Ria

Build-A-Bear is fine. I feel like the time in your life where buil-a-bear is relevant is such a small window that taking it in the second round is way too early. In summation, the pick is not bad, but I feel like it would've been better suited in the fourth or fifth round.

Grade: B-

Round 3 Pick 1: Smell of Abercrombie, Ria

My local mall didn't have an Abercrombie, but it had a Hollister, which is essentially the same store. It isn't a good smell, but it is unique. It definitely brings back childhood memories. I think this is a good pick from Ria.

Grade: A-

Round 3 Pick 2: Champs, Eddie

I don't love the pick. Maybe it's more of a midwest thing, but we didn't have many Champs in any malls around me. I think Foot Locker is probably the better pick in this situation. I don't think it is awful though.

Grade: B

Round 3 Pick 3: Cinnabon, Carl

Awesome pick. Especially in the third round. Cinnabon is amazing on Black Friday when you're in the mall at 6:00 am. I only ding it because it is very messy.

Grade: A-

Round 3 Pick 4: Hollister, Chief

Hollister's clothes are garbage, but Hollister as a pick is great. It is distinctly mall. It also looked so cool. Like it looked like you were going to the beach. Also Chief shouldn't feel bad for mixing up Hollister and Abercrombie, because Hollister is owned by Abercrombie. Good pick.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 5: Sbarro, Dave

I would never get Sbarro outside of a mall, which makes me rank this as a good pick. Everyone likes pizza and this is the best mall pizza joint. So solid from Dave.

Grade: A-

Round 4 Pick 1: Mall Rats, Dave

I've never seen this movie, so I don't know how this will do on the graphic. I typically like to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially since nobody gave any crap about it. Good pick I guess.

Grade: A-

Round 4 Pick 2: Seeing a Movie, Chief

There aren't a lot of movie theaters around me that have malls, but for those that do I'm sure the pick is relatable. So overall I think it's solid. 

Grade: B+

Round 4 Pick 3: Mall Santa, Carl

Very good pick form Carl. Getting your picture with Santa at the mall was an awesome time when you were young. Also seeing the sleigh there in early November makes everything seem extra festive. Great pick from Carl.

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 4: Arcade, Eddie

I don't think this is a great pick form Eddie. I feel like mall arcades aren't really a thing anymore. Arcades are fun but I've really never associated them with malls. Maybe this is more of a midwestern thing that I can't relate to, but I don't think the pick is great.

Grade: B

Round 4 Pick 5: Meeting your crush and walking around, Ria

Very strong, very relatable. I think most people have gone through this awkward experience. It's a right of passage. Good pick from Ria.

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 1: Macy's, Ria

I don't think this is a bad pick. Macy's is mainly in malls, although not exclusively. It isn't a great pick, but overall it is a decent selection in my opinion. 

Grade: B

Round 5 Pick 2: Random Chinese Place, Eddie

Good pick from Eddie. The Chinese food places are great at malls. You also get like five thousand calories of food for like six dollars. They are a great deal. The one bad thing is that you are lighting up the toilet fifteen minutes later.

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 3: Shoplifting, Carl

Call me a goody-two-shoes, but I've never shoplifted before. I never saw the fun in it I guess. I think it's a pretty relatable pick for most people though, so I'll have to grade it well. 

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 4: Getting a good spot when it's packed, Chief

This is an awesome pick from Chief. If it's Christmas time and you find a spot right at the front of the lot, your day becomes instantly better. It can also becomes ifinitely better if you back into the spot on the first try. Tremendous pick.

Grade: A+

Round 5 Pick 5: Massage Chairs, Dave

Meh, this is a fine pick. I just hate having to pay for these. They are also uncomfortable 60% of the time in my opinion. So fine from Dave.

Grade: B

I really don't think we are gonna have a close one this week. Carl is gonna win in a landslide.

Predicted winner: Carl

Predicted loser: Chief