Barstool Chicago Pride Draft Grades

Round 1 Pick 1: Santa Claus, Chief

Strong pick from Chief here. Everyone loves Christmas and everyone loves Santa Claus. The pick will definitely play well because he is so associated with the color red. 

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 2: Red Meat, ONA

Red meat varies widely in how good it is. A good Ribeye steak? A. But just some ground beef? Meh. Therefore I have to give it a slightly lower grade due to inconsistency. 

Grade: B+

Round 1 Pick 3: Red Solo Cup, Eddie 

I think this is a fine pick. I don't really think a red solo cup is the third-best red thing in existence, but I do think it will get some votes. Not a great pick, but I guess it could've been worse. 

Grade: B-

Round 1 Pick 4: Red from Shawshank, Dave

Interesting pick. Obviosuly he is a tremendous character, but he isn't red. But I think people will still give it a lot of votes. 

Grade: A-

Round 1 Pick 5: Coke, Carl

Great pick. Everyone likes an ice cold coca-cola and it is probably the number one thing I associate with the color red. Very good value at fifth overall in this draft.

Grade: A+

Round 2 Pick 1: Orange, Carl

Not as good of a pick. I guess there aren't a lot of very good orange things, so I guess it is a best available situation. 

Grade: B+

Round 2 Pick 2: Trump, Dave

Good pick. Not taking politics into account (which is obviously hard to do) just picking Trump will automatically get people to pick Dave's draft. Besides that, it is just a funny pick. 

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 3: Traffic Cone, Eddie

Meh, you couldn't have thought of something better than a traffic cone? What about pumpkin pie, a basketball, or literally anything else. A traffic cone is just so meh to me.

Grade: C

Round 2 Pick 4: Nacho Cheese Dorito, ONA

Good pick. Everyone likes Doritos so I think this is a good one to get off the board. They are also undeniably incredibly orange. Very good pick.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 5: Tennesee Jersey, Chief

Good pick from Chief. It definitely plays to the sports-heavy crowd that will be voting. It is also just an incredibly fine-looking jersey. Great pick from Chief.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 1: The Sun, Chief

Is the sun really yellow? I feel like this could be up to debate. I mean I feel like the sun is multiple colors orange, red, yellow, etc. I think the pick is fine but could've been better.

Grade: B

Round 3 Pick 2: Big Bird, ONA

Good pick from Out and About. Everyone loves Big Bird and he is definitely directly associated with the color yellow. 

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 3: The Simpsons, Eddie

Another solid pick. The Simpsons are definitely up there with the most recognizable yellow things. It has been a staple in America for a long time and they will definitely get votes. 

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 4: Cheddar Cheese, Dave

Huge cheddar fan right here. It is good with pretty much anything and just good to eat by itself. I'm not a big cheese snob so the classics always play for me, good pick for Dave.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 5: Morning Piss, Carl

Um alright. Bit of an odd pick but we grade nonetheless. I do think it is unsatisfying to see a dark yellow piss, it may feel good, but it also makes you realize you're a scumbag who doesn't drink nearly enough water. So the pick isn't that bad, it is pretty funny, but also weird.

Grade: B-

Round 4 Pick 1: Cash, Carl

A much better pick for Carl right here. Who doesn't love cold, hard cash? I think this will be received well and it is very hard to go against. 

Grade: A+

Round 4 Pick 2: Baseball Field, Dave

I'm gonna nitpick here, a good portion of a baseball field isn't green. Therefore I can't give the pick an A. You may say that some of the other picks aren't entirely the color picked, i.e. Santa, Coca-Cola, The Simpsons, etc. But I would argue the other colors just accent the main color, while Baseball fields are very much brown and green, not green with brown accents. 

Grade: C+

Round 4 Pick 3: Green M&M, Eddie

Bonk. Massive bonk. But anyways it is a pretty good pick. Everyone seems to like the green M&M for obvious reasons, lol. Solid pick, I think it gets votes. Also it's a damn shame she is no longer sexy. 

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 4: Shamrocks, ONA

This is drafting a tight end (no pun intended lol). It rarely ever goes bad nor does it rarely ever change your franchise. Just a solid player that nobody will ever argue with, but they aren't gonna rave over.

Grade: B+

Round 4 Pick 5: Statue of Liberty, Chief

Incredible pick from Chief. Definitely gonna get a lot of votes, especially since it is a week before the 4th of July. Nothing much to say, I'm just a fan of lady liberty. 

Grade: A+

Round 5 Pick 1: Jeans, Chief

Another good pick for Chief. I would say jeans are like drafting a fullback. It would've been cooler to draft ten years ago, but the fans still appreciate the pick and tend to love them. Jeans have been out with the younger male crowd for a few years but I think they are starting to make a comeback, just my opinion. Anyways, y'all don't care about my fashion analysis, jeans are a solid pick not amazing but gets the job done. 

Grade: B+

Round 5 Pick 2: Ocean, ONA

Yup, I'm a fan of the ocean. Love looking at it, love visiting it, love swimming in it. Just a solid pick overall. When you find the perfect shade of blue in the ocean, there are few blues that are better.

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 3: Blue Jay, Eddie

Eh, I feel like a blue jay isn't even the number one blue colored bird. Also, I think it would've just been smarter to draft the Toronto Blue Jays, but I digress. Not my favorite pick, but it could've been worse.

Grade: C

Round 5 Pick 4: Blue Oyster Cult, Dave

Blue Oyster Cult is fine but not my favorite band. It doesn't really move the needle for me.

Grade: B

Round 5 Pick 5: Megan Fox's eyes, Carl

Megan Fox has nice eyes but I don't think she has the best blue eyes of any celebrity, that would have to go to Alexandra Daddario. This leads me to another take I have had brewing for a while that brunettes with blue eyes are way more attractive than blondes with blue eyes. Anyaways, Megan Foxe's eyes are a good pick.

Grade: A

Round 6 Pick 1: Purple Parrot, Carl

Alright, just a very average pick from Carl, but there aren't a lot of purple things. I feel like it’s fine because it’s legends of the hidden temple so it gets props, but it’s a little meh to me.

Grade: C+

Round 6 Pick 2: Grimace, Dave

Amazing pick from Dave. Grimace is fucking hilarious. Also I think McDonald's should bring back their mascots, they were awesome. Very good pick.

Grade: A

Round 6 Pick 3: Lean, Eddie

Fine pick, but I feel like people don't really drink lean. I feel like it is just a meme at this point and nobody does it anymore. 

Grade: B

Round 6 Pick 4: Barney, ONA

Oh boy this is gonna be a problematic pick. Barney was a good show but sheesh the baggage that comes with the pick. Not a great pick to me.

Grade: C+

Round 6 Pick 5: Purple Mountain Majesty, Chief

It's a fine pick. It's pretty cool, but it isn't gonna be moving the needle or anything. 

Grade: B

Gonna be a close one this week, but I think Chief gets a back-to-back. Just solid picks from top to bottom.

Predicted Winner: Chief

Predicted Loser: Eddie