Barstool Chicago Christmas Movie Side Character Draft

The Chicago crew is backed and they are drafting Christmas Side Characters. This was a nice draft. Not hilarious or super nostalgic, but just a good draft. They are joined by Kenjac and Clem. With Kenjac being here, watch out for some funny business on the graphic. Also this draft is going to be very close. Very close. Hope you all enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Round 1 Pick 1: Marv, Chief

Strong pick from Chief. In my opinion, Home Alone is the best Christmas movie and Marv is the best side character in that movie. It makes sense that he goes number one overall. Not sure I have anything bad to say about the pick overall. 

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 2: Cousin Eddie, Carl

Probably the funniest character in any Christmas movie. Great one-liners and just very wholesome. It seems that Christmas Vacation as a whole has made a cultural resurgence. About five to ten years ago, I feel like Christmas Vacation was not as big as it is right now. So I think that helps with the pick.

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 3: Harry, Clem

I mean what can I say? It's just another good pick. I don't think Harry is as good as Marv, but compared to other Christmas side characters, he is awesome. I don't love just giving out so many high scores, but they are just three very good picks and all worthy of first overall. 

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 4: Gus Polinski, Eddie

Again another very good pick. Gus isn't as impactful as the other picks in the first round, but he is just another phenomenal side character. I think that his value is slightly decreased because he's only in like five minutes of the movie, however, he is just a great character. Very loveable and another strong pick.

Grade: A

Round 1 Pick 5: Thurman Merman, Kenjac

So the character is very good. However, I don't think it is worth the first-round pick simply because Bad Santa isn't as popular of a movie as the other ones. With that being said I think the pick is still good.

Grade: A-

Round 2 Pick 1: Buzz McCallister, Kenjac

Great pick. I mean Buzz is an all-time prick. But he also shows that he cares about Kevin in the end. He is just very good and well cast. He has memorable lines and he has a great redeeming story in both Home Alones.

Grade: A+

Round 2 Pick 2: Myron, Eddie

I haven't seen this movie in a while, but I did really like it. I do think we run into a problem in the fact that not as many people have seen Jingle All the Way as some of the other movies. I do want to bring up casting. Every so often you see a character and think, "wow I don't know if they could've casted a better person for that role". This is one of those times. Sinbad is phenomenal.

Grade: A-

Round 2 Pick 3: Hans Gruber, Clem

Hans is an incredible villain. Do I think he is the best movie villain? No. But a good villain nonetheless. He also has many memorable lines and an incredible death scene, sorry for the spoiler lol. 

Grade: A+

Round 2 Pick 4: Marcus, Carl

Again I think we get into the problem that not as many people have seen bad santa. He is a funny character, but I just think Carl loses votes from lack of exposure.

Grade: B+

Round 2 Pick 5: The Dad from a Chistmas Story, Chief

I hate a Christmas story. I think it is a bad movie. But, the dad is very relatable. I do think, as the years go on, A Christmas Story is becoming less liked each year. I just feel like everyone is saying how bad it is this year, but maybe I'm just seeing the vocal minority. With that being said, he is still a good character and I think will get a lot of votes.

Grade: A-

Round 3 Pick 1: Clarence the Angel, Chief

The original Christmas side-character. I don't really like "It's a Wonderful Life" but Clarence is a great character. Not much to say, I think this pick will get a lot of votes. 

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 2: Old Man Marley, Carl

I'm almost getting tired of this, but another good pick! Pretty much every side-character in Home Alone would get a good grade. I was terrified this dude as a child. I also really like his whole storyline of leaning the meaning of Christmas. Ebeneezer Scrooge and Old Man marley are 1a and 1b of learning what the meaning of Christmas is in my opinion. Just a good character and very wholesome. 

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 3: Aunt Bethany, Clem

She has an incredibly minor role in the movie, but she might be the third funniest character. All of the elderly characters are hilarious in Christmas Vacation. Just tremendous writers and actors. A good pick from Clem because she is just so funny a memorable. 

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 4: Fuller, Eddie

Fuller isn't an awesome character, but he is just so funny. What, is he on the screen for like a minute? He just looks funny. Home Alone has such a deep roster of characters. I can't really hate the pick, but it also isn't great because he barely does anything in the movie.

Grade: B

Round 3 Pick 5: Scut Farkas, Kenjac

Good pick. I hated this guy when I was a kid. He is one of the perfect heels in all of cinema. He has such a punchable face and an incredibly annoying voice. A really good side character. 

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 1: Miles Finch, Kenjac

One of the first picks I don't really think is that good. But I still don't think it is a bad pick. Finch has an overall unimportant part in the film and also isn't incredibly funny. The scene is funny, but I really don't think it is like the funniest scene in the movie or anything. Just an ok pick.

Grade: B-

Round 4 Pick 2: Al Powell, Eddie

Another good pick from Eddie. Sgt Powell was an all-time family man. Just a very wholesome character in a movie that was anything but. Also Reginald VelJohnson is just a tremendous actor and is amazing at playing that fatherly figure. Good pick.

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 3: Yukon Cornelius, Clem

One of the first movie characters I ever remember liking. Yukon Cornelius was funny and wholesome. Also a great job to get an animated character in there when nobody else did.

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 4: Ellis, Carl

There we go the first bad pick of the draft. Ellis was a fine character, but I personally wouldn't draft him. Like he just isn't that memorable in my opinion. Like when I list great Christmas side-characters, I don't think he would've been in my top 40. IDK maybe that's just me.

Grade: C

Round 4 Pick 5: Argyle, Chief

Trying to go to the well one too many times. I like the Argyle pick more than Ellis because he is hilarious and not an asshole, but like there was no need to take another Die Hard character, there were plenty of characters from other Christmas movies. 

Grade: C+

Round 5 Pick 1: Todd and Margot, Chief

Now this is a strong pick. It has great value in the fifth round. They are just so funny and definitely worth a pick. I also think it is fine they are taken as one pick, they are essentially one character. It would be like taking the three fates in Hercules. Very good pick from Chief.

Grade: A+

Round 5 Pick 2: Mr. Potter, Carl

Mr. Potter is so good because he is a real world villain. Some of these other Christmas villains are funny and outlandish. But there are thousands maybe even millions of Mr. Potters in the world. I think this makes him a good character due to his realness. He is also in the most famous Christmas movie of all time, which definitely helps to get him votes.

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 3: Gizmo, Clem

Ah, that's a Chief pick right here. Just not a good pick in my opinion, he tried to get cute with it and it just didn't work. 

Grade: D

Round 5 Pick 4: Ted, Eddie

Man what an asshole, but a good asshole. He is the perfect joe next door who is better than everyone else. However I do think going too strong on Jingle All the Way is a bad move. It isn't an unpopular movie but it isn't a super popular Christmas movie. So I don't think it will really work out in the end. 

Grade: C+

Round 5 Pick 5: Uncle Frank, Kenjac

Incredible Mr. Irrelevant right here. Uncle Frank is the biggest asshole ever. He is so mean to Kevin and for what reason? Also he is such a cheap asshole. I feel like most people have an Uncle Frank in their lives and he is just the relative you don't wanna see him around the holidays. A great pick to end on.

Grade: A

Alright. This will be a VERY close draft. I think Kenjac has a great assortment of characters, but as mentioned on the show, they are all massive assholes. So people might not want to vote for them. Besides him, I think Chief and Carl have strong drafts. I think Chief is slightly ahead of Carl, but the whole thing will be close.

Predicted Winner: Chief

Predcited Loser: Eddie