Barstool Chicago Wedding Draft Grades

The Chicago Crew is once again joined by Captain Cons, who is one of the more frequent guests, behind his arch nemesis, Rico Bosco. It's a pretty good draft and I think Cons works really well with the Chicago guys, so I always enjoy these drafts. It's not the best draft, but it's a good one. Enjoy the grades.

Round 1 Pick 1: Shout!, Cons

Strong pick, I'm not sure it was as clear of a first overall as Cons says, but it is a strong pick. I disagree with him in the idea that it should be at the end of the wedding, you need to get the energy up towards the beginning, not when everyone else is tired. That's more of YMCA or Cha Cha Slide time in my opinion. Good pick from Cons though. 

Grade: A-

Round 1 Pick 2: Grabbing two drinks before dinner/speech, Eddie

Great veteran move for Ed. Need to have the drinks during a part you can't miss. Also if it closes and you need a drink, you're done for. Strong pick to keep the night fun and loose. Ed's a pro. 

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 3: Lifting the Couple, Chief

Never been to a Jewish wedding, but this looks crazy fun. I think this was a bit of a reach in the first because I think it probably would've lasted a few rounds because it isn't a tradition that most people are used to. Good pick, just a bit too early.

Grade: B+

Round 1 Pick 4: Bacon-Wrapped Dates, Carl

I'm gonna get this out of the way early, I'm not gonna call them hor d'oeuvres every time, I'm just gonna call them appetizers for the sake of time. Deal with it. Bacon-wrapped dates are solid, I don't think they are the first overall appetizer, but it's a strong pick.

Grade: B+

Round 1 Pick 5: Living on a Prayer, Dave

Ehhhhhh. Second overall wedding song? People know the words, but I don't really think it is one hundred percent a first-round wedding song. It may not play well with your grandparents and other older relatives (talking about those that are like 80+). They probably won't know the words or like the song.  Decent pick, but not great.

Grade: B+

Round 2 Pick 1: Mini Beef Wellington Bites, Dave

I think this is a good pick from Dave. It is a bit more filling than dates, which I always think is good for an appetizer. Tough look that nobody seemed to know what he was talking about.

Grade: B

Round 2 Pick 2: Long Church Ceremony, Carl

Great pick. I mean I'm a Catholic, but I think everyone can agree people don't like the hour-long service on top of the wedding. It is very dependent on the size of the wedding and the length of the homily. If the wedding is massive, you have to wait an hour for everyone to get communion. Then add that on top of the homily, which is always long at a wedding, and you have the recipe for disaster. Then after the service, you have to wait for everyone to get pictures at the altar. Meanwhile, you're just waiting for the reception. 

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 3: Ordering food to your hotel before you leave, Chief

Great pick from Chief. Most weddings don't have insanely big portions. After drinking and dancing, you get a bit hungry. If food is there when you arrive at the hotel, it can make your night infinitely better. Solid veteran move from Chief.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 4: Shrimp Cocktail, Eddie

I'm a little bit out on a shrimp cocktail. Something about cold shrimp just doesn't do it for me. I like it don't get me wrong, but it isn't my favorite choice. With that being said, I think that, in general, most people enjoy it, so it will get votes. 

Grade: A-

Round 2 Pick 5: Crabcakes, Cons

Phenomenal pick. Crabcake has an extremely high floor. A few critiques on their analysis though. One, crabcakes are mushy? I mean they are kind of mushy but overall not that bad if they are cooked right. Two, Cons said that they sometimes you put sauce on them? No, I've never put a sauce on a crabcake. All-in-all a strong pick.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 1: Tipping a twenty at the start of the night, Cons

Good pick. It's a good thing to do especially to get ahead of the game and a little bit of favor from the bartender. You also are out of the action for less time having to fumble around in your wallet every time you hit the bar. Strong pick from Cons.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 2: I wanna dance with somebody, Eddie

Awesome pick. Good for the whole family. A great yelling song and most people know the words. Even your grandma likes this song, which speaks to how good of a wedding song it is. Very good for cutting the rug.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 3: Live Bands, Chief

I understand Chief's point here, but it won't go over well at the polls. When a live band is good, it's awesome. But it's very hard to have a band that can be good at multiple genres. For example, if you have to have a band that is well-versed in pop, country, etc. It's hard to find a band that can do multiple genres. So I understand the pick, but don't think it will be very popular. 

Grade: C+

Round 3 Pick 4: Table Dibs, Carl

Strong veteran move, but I don't think this really applies to everyone. So I'm not sure how well it plays on the graphic. Also, at a good wedding, you'll barely be at your table so a seat doesn't really matter. Meh pick.

Grade: B-

Round 3 Pick 5: Missing Sports, Dave

Definitely a first-round pick in value. People hate missing sports and there is a four-month span when you can't get married. How is it so hard? I understand sometimes that's all you can get, but please people stick to spring/summer weddings. Strong pick.

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 1: Best-Man Speech, Dave

Very up and down pick. If it's a great speech then it's really good, but if it's bad then it's like pulling teeth. I have a brother and I think I'll probably be his best man in a few years, really hoping I don't bomb that. It also can really set the tone for the night. Overall a good pick, but could be bad.

Grade: A-

Round 4 Pick 2: Checking Out Bridesmaids, Carl

Bonk. But seriously, solid pick. I've only been to weddings when I was under the age of thirteen so the pick doesn't fully hit home for me since you know, I was more interested in pokemon and shit. But, I can 100% understand this pick. Also no matter your marital status, every guy can relate to looking at pretty women. 

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 3: Caprese Salad Biter, Chief

Decent pick. Not tremendous or anything but it's fine. I like something maybe a bit more filling since you're usually hungry after the whole ceremony. It's not great, but not awful.

Grade: C+

Round 4 Pick 4: Bad Table, Eddie

Yup. A bad table can ruin the whole experience. You need at least one or two other people at your table that you've at least met before. If you're stuck with the weirdos or the people who don't know anyone else, it can just be a real hassle. Good pick.

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 5: Wedding Party Entrance, Cons

Phenomenal pick. These aren't funny anymore. Like maybe five years ago. My personal least favorite is when they announce them like a basketball roster. So cringe and so tacky. Great pick. Cons is looking great to win here.

Grade: A+

Round 5 Pick 1: Planned Afterparty, Cons

Hmmm. Hmmm. A very interesting pick to me. It doesn't really seems like a "wedding" tradition, just something you do when you go to weddings. I mean, in a vacuum the idea is good, but something just feels off about it. I think it will get votes, but I don't like the pick.

Grade: A-

Round 5 Pick 2: Feature Dances, Eddie

Awesome pick. Always a tear-jerker. I think this is one of the best traditions and probably should've gone earlier than the fifth round. Good pick.

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 3: I don't wanna go home, Chief

Yeah I've never heard this song. I don't think it will go well on the graphic. But, Chief had to pick it for traditions sake. 

Grade: C+

Round 5 Pick 4: At Last, Carl

Probably one of the best slow songs in weddings. It's just very nice and sweet. A very good first dance song in my opinion. Good pick from Carl.

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 5: Venmoing the Bride/Groom their gift, Dave

How cheap can you get? Come on Dave gotta at least give a card. Maybe I'm a bit of a traditionalist but I think getting a card is nice. Getting a venmo just seems like you're paying me for picking up beer for you. I think this pick stinks.

Grade: D

I think we have two clear front-runners in Eddie and Cons. I think he has the top song, although it shouldn't have been first overall, which really helps because a wedding is really made by the music. It will be close, but I think Cons wins.

Predicted winner: Cons

Predicted loser: Chief