Barstool Chicago Distinct Voices Draft Grades

The Chicago crew is back and they are drafting distinct voices. They are joined by Joey Mulinaro, an expert in distinct voices. It was a pretty enjoyable draft, hope y'all enjoy the grades!

Round 1 Pick 1: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eddie

Before the draft, I was thinking to myself "how can I grade this?" Do I do popularity? Do I do voice quality? or just how recognizable I think it is? So I decided to do a mixture of all three. Arnold is certainly popular, has a good voice, and everyone recognizes him and his voice.

Grade: A

Round 1 Pick 2: Morgan Freeman, Dave

Yeah, this is an awesome pick. So Arnold is recognizable for things other than his voice, but Freeman IS his voice. I would say, on voice alone, Freeman is one of the most recognizable people in the world. It's just so unique and soothing.

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 3: James Earl Jones, Chief

Hmmm, I'm not sure about this one. So, unfortunately, his most famous role isn't actually his own voice. He's Darth Vader, but that's not really his voice, it's heavily modified. Not to take away from this pick, but I don't think it will play well on the graphic, especially in the first round.

Grade: B-

Round 1 Pick 4: Sean Connery, Carl

Solid selection, again not first-round material in my book. But when I think of distinct voices, Connery is not what I think of. Not a strong start for Carl.

Grade: C+

Round 1 Pick 5: Coach O, Joey

I think this is a very good pick. Coach O gets a lot of respect on the graphic due to the heavy influence of sports fans within the listener base. He also has been very popular recently. Solid selection.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 1: Frank Sinatra, Joey

The thing is, Sinatra has a good voice, but his voice isn't distinct. Like it isn't a voice that stands out in the crowd. Not a great pick.

Grade: C+

Round 2 Pick 2: Vin Scully, Carl

Incredibly iconic voice. Even people that aren't huge baseball fans will know his voice. The only problem is he is old, so many people may younger people may have never heard him speak before. But a great voice nonetheless.

Grade: A-

Round 2 Pick 3: Matthew McConaughey, Chief

This definitely could've been a first-round pick. McConaughey is very distinctive and I partially think it is because of his demeanor. Like his voice isn't super distinct from other Texans, but the way he carries himself makes it distinct.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 4: Samuel L. Jackson, Dave

I think this a pretty good pick by Dave, but not the best selection. Again, he's just not someone who I think of when I think "distinct voice". He does have a lot of great lines though. A decent pick, but not the best. However, I think he gets votes just for the name.

Grade: B

Round 2 Pick 5: Mike Tyson, Eddie

Now, this is a distinct voice. The other picks were good voices but this is a distinct one. It's obviously not a great or soothing voice, but it is recognizable. It also helps that he's generally pretty funny. 

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 1: News Anchor Voice, Eddie

I think this is a pretty good pick from Eddie tbh. It's a bit of a reach in the third round, but I think it is a good voice. Joey brought up a good point that everyone has their own impression, which I think adds to the value of the pick. 

Grade: B

Round 3 Pick 2: Sylvester Stallone, Dave

This is a strong selection by Dave. Everyone does the "Yo Adrian" from Rocky and just in general he is a good voice to imitate.

Round 3 Pick 3: Keith Jackson, Chief

Does Keith Jackson have a good voice? yes. Is it distinct? I'm not so sure. His voice is very vanilla and when it comes to other broadcasters is not very unique. Also, I'm not sure how the pick plays to younger crowds.

Grade: B

Round 3 Pick 4: Lou Holtz, Carl

Again I'm not sure how distinct Holtz's voice truly is. He sorta just sounds like an old southern dude. Not exactly distinct.

Grade: C+

Round 3 Pick 5: Yoda, Joey

This is a very good pick, especially in the third round. Yoda is a very iconic voice, and everyone loves to do their impression. A great value pick and gets a lot of votes from the Star Wars crowd. 

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 1: EA Sports Guy, Joey

Holy throwback. Amazing pick from Joey. It will win over a lot of votes and the voice is certainly distinct. A good pick especially in the fourth round.

Grade: A

Round 4 Pick 2: Dan Lafontaine, Carl

So he's the movie trailer guy. However, nobody will know his name. I think his voice is certainly distinct, but I don't know if he will play well on the graphic.

Grade: B

Round 4 Pick 3: Liev Schreiber, Chief

Wildly misjudged by Chief. Nobody is gonna know Liev Schreiber's name that doesn't watch hard knocks. While Hard Knocks is popular, I don't know if everybody knows him.

Grade: B

Round 4 Pick 4: Snoop Dogg, Dave

I'm only halfway sold with this pick. Snoop has a good voice, but some of his charm is just the funny things he says not his voice. A decent pick, but not awesome.

Grade: B+

Round 4 Pick 5: Christopher Walken, Eddie

Now, this is an iconic voice. A big part of his voice being iconic is the way he enunciates words. He seems to put emphasis on all of the wrong syllables. It's not a great voice by any means, but it sure as hell is iconic.

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 1: Gilbert Gottfried, Eddie

Holy Shit, this could've gone first overall. Gilbert Gottfried is probably the most distinct voice in modern history. The Walken/Gottfried combo might be the best one-two punch in dog walk history, and they were in the final two rounds.

Grade: A+

Round 5 Pick 2: The Joker (The Dark Knight), Dave

This is a solid pick from Dave. This is one of the most iconic characters in any movie and he has an iconic voice. However I don't think the voice is what makes the character distinct, but it does help. Solid selection.

Grade: A-

Round 5 Pick 3: Donald Trump, Chief

Spot on from Chief right here. This pick isn't gonna be well received by what I'd assume is half of the people voting, but his voice is insanely distinct. I mean the way he says "China" is just an all-time classic. It is somewhat less distinct now since he was president, but still very distinct. 

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 4: Freddie Mercury, Carl

Very chalky, very basic. This draft wasn't the best from Carl and this was a last-ditch effort to try and get a few votes. Don't get me wrong, Mercury has a phenomenal voice, but a lot of his appeal comes from his performing abilities and his way to command a stage. 

Grade: B+

Round 5 Pick 5: Louis Armstrong, Joey

Good Mr. Irrelevant. A very iconic voice that really sticks out from the rest. Not too much to say about it, just a good pick.

Grade: A

This was a very unusual draft and I feel like the grades are very subjective. With that being said, I think it's really a two-horse race between Joey and Eddie, with Eddie having a slight advantage over Joey. I'm not really sure who is the loser of the draft, Chief, Carl, and Dave all have similar drafts.

Predicted Winner: Eddie

Predicted Loser: Carl? I really don't know, his draft just seemed to have no heavy hitters.