Barstool Chicago Barstool Draft Grade

 The guys are back and this time they are drafting moments, people, etc. in Barstool history. What better guest to join them than Dave Portnoy, the founder of Barstool? This was a pretty entertaining draft, but I really don't think it was super close.

Round 1 Pick 1: Nate vs Smitty, Dave

I interpreted the category as the same was as Dave in which it would be the best rivalries within the company. With that being said I believe this is the best rivalry within the company, by a large margin.

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 2: Dave vs Goodell, Eddie

I think this is the best rivalry with someone/something outside of the company. It is also hilarious that it continues to go on after so many years. Great pick from Eddie.

Grade: A+

Round 1 Pick 3: Brady Four, Carl

I think this is probably the second-best moment in the history of the company. It is probably one of the funniest or most memorable but I don't think it was the best.

Grade: A

Round 1 Pick 4: Barstool vs Deadspin, WSD

I think it's absurd Dave thought this was the best rivalry. Deadspin is pretty much a dying company that just uses Barstool for clicks at this point. I don't think the pick was awful, but it definitely could've been taken in later rounds.

Grade: C+

Round 1 Pick 5: Pirate Porn Saga, Chief

The video is hilarious and helps to build one of the more important ancillary characters. Solid selection from Chief.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 1: Tiko Texas, Chief

I don't know much about Tiko but Dave seemed to think the pick was good. I don't know how to grade this, so I will give Chief the benefit of the doubt.

Grade: A

Round 2 Pick 2: AVN Awards Video, WSD

Personally, this is one of my favorite Barstool videos. It is absolutely hilarious and is just "classic Barstool" Great pick from WSD.

Grade: A+

Round 2 Pick 3: Ball Don't Lie Shirt, Carl

Maybe I don't really understand the lore of the pick but it didn't impress me. I think it's good because it's funny, but I wouldn't say it's an "iconic" shirt.

Grade: B+

Round 2 Pick 4: Weird Haircut Seth, Eddie

So I thought the pick was decent but it gets overshadowed by the next pick in the draft. WHS was a good character but doesn't have a lasting impact on the company like some other characters. 

Grade: B+

Round 2 Pick 5: Pirate Simon, Dave

I think Pirate Simon would almost certainly be the best ancillary character. He was even in the documentary about the company. Awesome pick from Prez.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 1: Big Cat Lions Video, Dave

I think the best part of the video is the longevity of it. The "figure it out" GIF is still used very frequently to this day. Besides that the video is hilarious, and it has Big Cat so bonus points.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 2: Original Combine Video, Eddie

This video is fun because it's just a bunch of buddies hanging out. Also, the three-cone drill and Portnoy 40 yard dash are electric content. So nostalgic.

Grade: A

Round 3 Pick 3: Barstool vs Zonker, Carl

This is a decent rivalry, but again the main problem with a lot of these picks is longevity. Nobody cares about this anymore so it's hard to give it a good grade.

Grade: C

Round 3 Pick 4: Clown T-Shirt, WSD

I mean this has to be the consensus number one T-Shirt. It is the most recognizable and I'd guess the highest-selling non-podcast-related shirt in the company's history. It also has a million spinoffs which are all great. 

Grade: A+

Round 3 Pick 5: Nate Noogie's Dave, Chief

Was this moment funny? Yeah. Do I really think it's an all-time moment? Not really. It's hard to give a good grade to something, that in the grand scheme of things, is so insignificant to the company. There are thousands of funny things that happen every week this is just a "moment" because it's old and happened to Dave.

Grade: B

Round 4 Pick 1: "Too Big, Too Fast..." T-Shirt, Chief

I didn't understand the hate for this pick. I think the shirt is awesome. It might not be a best-seller, but it is very good and kinda relates to the Barstool common man idea. I think it is a good embodiment of the company.

Grade: B+

Round 4 Pick 2: Jenna Marbles, WSD

The only problem with the pick is that Jenna Marbles isn't an integral piece of Barstool lure. She reminds me a lot of Call Her Daddy in the sense that they are a part of Barstool, but not important to the company brand... if that makes sense. It's like a separate entity just owned by Barstool. I think you guys get the point. It's a fine pick, but not lighting up the stat sheet.

Grade: C+

Round 4 Pick 3: Big Cat Aquarium Video, Carl

This video is hilarious, like most things with Big Cat. It could be a little bit of a homer pick with the Chicago crowd, but it's still a funny video.

Grade: B+

Round 4 Pick 4: Ultimate Warrior T-Shirt, Eddie

I had never even heard of this shirt. I really don't think most people would consider this to be a classic. It may be important to some, but I believe it is a niche few.

Grade: C

Round 4 Pick 5: Super Bowl Arrest, Dave

I think this is the ultimate Barstool moment. It got them in the news, it started their beef with the NFL. To me, this is the moment that made them mainstream. Awesone pick again by Dave.

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 1: Starfish Penny, Dave

So this is iconic in a different way. It is legendary in Barstool lore, but obviously it isn't available for everyone. It's more of an inside joke, but honestly isn't a lot of Barstool just one big inside joke?

Grade: A

Round 5 Pick 2: Post Super Bowl Rundown, Eddie

Again much similar to Chief's pick I was looking for a company defining moment. This is just something funny that happened. It was funny but I don't think it's super impactful.

Grade: B

Round 5 Pick 3: Peter Chernin, Carl

Chernin helped to bring Barstool to the next level with his funding. He isn't an all-time content character, but he was important nonetheless. 

Grade: B

Round 5 Pick 4: Chernin Purchase, WSD

Again very similar to what I said for Carl's pick. Was the Chernin purchase as big as the Penn purchase? I don't think so. But it is still company changing.

Grade: B+

Round 5 Pick 5: Carl vs Dave, Chief

I'm gonna be honest, this might be the biggest pander from Chief in his drafting career. I think he knows these guys aren't the biggest rivals in the company, but he knew it would get votes from the fans. Not very Burrataesque.

Grade: D

WSD was so close to having a winner, but he just didn't quite have enough to top El Presidente. I think the guys knew it was an uphill battle, but Portnoy is simply too much to be stoppped.

Predicted Winner: Dave Portnoy

Predicted Loser: Carl